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How to Spice Sex up After Marriage

How to Spice Sex up After Marriage

Kenny Roger’s was right, in The Gambler. “You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, and know when to walk away.” State your intentions, that sort of helps explain even the most bone-headed of actions. Spontaneity. Do it. Once a month, twice a year, whatever. Just do it. Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t be afraid of looking dumb or silly. You’re human. You’re dumb and silly already. It’s going to be okay, and it will work itself out or it won’t and you will go on. “Life is better with a co-pilot,” but not necessary. Learn to live happily and adventurously on your own. Respect is a two-way street.

No two ways about it. They may leave you, they may not. They may love you, they may not. Either way, it’s okay. Believe it. Do stupid things together. That’s the stuff life experiences are made of. Go on, tee-pee that house! Make those awful shirts with your faces on them! I double dog dare you!! If a person threatens to leave you, step aside and let them go.

They just weeded your garden for you. Collaboration, not competition. Celebrate each other’s imperfections, just try not to be a dick about it. It should always be about what you want to do and not what you have to do. For instance, you HAVE to pay taxes. You don’t have to love someone. Don’t keep score. Ever. Don’t bring up the past in your fight, you can’t fix that.

You can fix your future, though. Work on that. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes you are not the right person for your lover. You should know what each other’s dealbreakers are before you move in together and also before your third or fourth date. That whole thing about not going to bed angry is real. Don’t do that! Is your lover a fucking weirdo? Good! Love them for it, because you’re a fucking weirdo, too! Find someone that you can get weird with.

When you find someone you love and want to “get weird with,” it’s natural to want to possess them; to be in control of the relationship. Fight this urge with every fiber of your being. No one is meant to be possessed. Be their advocate and their voice when they cannot speak for or help themselves. If you fuck up, own up. Even if it means your relationship is over. You owe them your honesty. “Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.” — Captain Corelli’s Mandolin Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook18Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: relationship advice In today’s tech-driven era ‘love at first sight’ seems to have become more like ‘love at first swipe.’ The rise of services like online dating has not just revolutionized the concept of dating but also given people more technologically advanced (and potentially foolproof) options for finding their one true love. According to research, relationships that begin through online platforms turn into marriage more quickly as compared to relationships that begin in traditional ways. A survey conducted by StatisticBrain revealed that couples who met online got married after an average of about 18 months together whereas couples who met offline took an average of over 40 months before they decided to tie the knot. But how exactly does online dating work and who decides which two people are right for each other?

What is the reason behind the ever-increasing popularity of online dating apps and how can you use these platforms to find your perfect match? With about 50 million active users making more than one billion swipes per day on Tinder alone, it’s a real wonder how these platforms decide which two people are best suited for one another.   Let’s take a deeper look to find out. How Online Dating Uses Data to Find Your Perfect Match Matchmaking on online dating platforms is based upon the information provided by the users.

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The process of finding the perfect match begins as soon as a user signs up for the online dating site or app. The sites ask numerous questions (about 300 on an average) in order to determine the hobbies, passion, likes and dislikes of the user. This helps create a profile with sufficient details that allow the system to find the person that they are looking for.  For example, when you join a certain online dating site, you will probably be asked about your height, weight, hair color, body type and other details such as piercings and tattoos to name a few. The next set of questions is usually according to your interests and preferred pastime activities. You’ll have to input info about your favorite movies, authors, actors, books, songs and so on. Most sites also ask about your religious values, political views, and long term relationship goals such as whether you want children or not.

In the next round, you’ll have to answer most of these questions for a second time – except that now you’ll have to answer them from the point of view of your ideal partner so that these responses provide insight into what you expect from the person you are looking for. The generated data is then compiled, analyzed, and organized by a database management system. These systems use a variety of carefully designed and highly sophisticated algorithms in order to sort the user profiles into unique ‘groups.’ The potential date for each user is then picked from the pool of people who have the highest compatibility with their group.  Different sites use different algorithms and search patterns to find the most compatible partner for a given user but some of the key factors for matchmaking include age, religion, education, income and so on. Often, facial recognition is also used to determine the person whom the user will find most This is done by image processing software that filters the results after analyzing the features of potential matches with the ideal image provided (or described) by the particular user. How to Use Online Dating Services to Find Your Ideal Soulmate Since the matches are made based on the user’s response, providing incomplete or inaccurate information completely defies the entire purpose of online data services. However, no matter how tremendously technology might have evolved and how uniquely two people might ‘match’ according to the search results, it goes without saying that you cannot rely solely on a machine’s prediction to decide who you should spend the rest of your life with.  It’s not that the results are incorrect, but the fact that the results are based on the limited information that might not consider who you will be as a person in say, the next ten years. People change in myriad ways throughout their lives and a personality test or similar algorithms cannot predict the way in which you or your partner will mature in the coming years. Therefore, to making online dating work for you, make sure to follow these top tips. Do Some Soul Searching Before you start searching for your soulmate, you must do some soul searching on your own. Think about your aims and aspirations in life, and what you really want from the relationship or from your partner for that matter.

Setting your priorities straight allows you to describe your desired date in a better way and ultimately get better search results. Meet in Person Online communication should not be substituted for face-to-face communication. If you cannot meet in person, then try video calling at least once to get a more accurate and ‘real’ view of the person. Be True to Yourself To make sure that the results are as accurate as possible, you ought to provide accurate information about your own self first. Be unique, but write your profile clearly and truthfully. Don’t be shy to mention your priorities because if you hide them at this point, chances are it might cause disappointments later on. What to consider When Searching for a Partner on Online Dating Sites Online dating platforms will show you user profiles that closely match with what you described earlier. If you still have trouble deciding which ones to go forward with, the following tips might come in handy.

Make sure the person’s photograph matches the age mentioned. Many people, despite being honest with their age, might put older pictures because those are ‘better.’  If the system gives you a match but you don’t find the person very attractive in their photo, give it a shot and meet them anyways. You might be drawn to their personality and hit it off.  The main thing that matters when searching for a partner on online dating sites is to stay open-minded. Even if you don’t like the potential match at a first glance, lean towards positivity and the fact that there is a high probability you might actually be perfect for one another. Give the other person a chance. Have a face-to-face meeting, spend some time together and get to know them some more before deciding whether you should continue forward or start the search all over again. Online dating services use sophisticated business models, detailed algorithms, and data mining to help users find the soulmate they have been searching for. Billions of members registered on numerous platforms all across the world are the definitive proof of how effective these services are.  Check out the success stories from various couples who met online and are now living their lives happily ever after.

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Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin2 Posted in: Dates & Details, Dating & Relationships, Dating Apps, Dating Sites A term that is ubiquitous among dating and relationship experts is “game.” “Mr. Locario – The Bad Boy of the Dating Game,” ( from New York City, emphasizes the significance of game in his youtube videos, Patreon, internet site and ebooks. Everybody, he affirms, has either weak or strong, game. At Locario Fan (2016) he declares, “All having game is, is about having a skill and a strategy to get what you want.” Further, it can be employed to get friends, acquire a vocation, or operate a business. Game requires interpersonal intelligence, which, avers psychologist Dr. Gardner (1993), is one of nine different types of intelligence. He defines this as the ability “…to notice distinctions among others—in particular, contrasts in their moods, temperaments, motivations. In advanced forms, this permits a skilled adult to read the intentions and desires of others, even when hidden. This skill appears in…salespersons, marketers, teachers, therapists….” (p. 15). Good gamers, then, excel at detecting verbal, facial and bodily cues when making the acquaintance of new people and dating.

Curiously, the American Psychological Association’s Society for Men never really broached the issue of game. Some YouTubers criticize dating specialists, like Locario, stating that they mislead vulnerable people about how to attract women. The specialists vehemently disagree, reassuring viewers that they haven’t developed good game. They allude to various personas, movements and lifestyle choices a few of these men, unfortunately, find themselves relegated to. So, below, Peckham (2015-2019), purveys the ugly side of having no game through crowdsourced “Top Definitions.” Fallout Phenomena Cuck by The Cherit August 17, 2017 A desperate man who craves to be loved by a woman. He will then alter his value and belief systems, subsequently sacrificing his integrity and self-esteem, without defending himself, all only to maintain a spurious, romantic relationship with a disloyal woman. Incel (Involuntarily celibate) by lizalfoe August 08, 2017 Such men are bereft of social skills, objectify and disrespect women—whom, they believe, owe them sexual satisfaction. They assume their lack of LMS (looks, money & status) makes them unattractive to women.

Incels have little awareness of themselves and believe other, average-looking albeit popular, men get dates since they’re deceptive. They often view egregious, violent, misogynistic sexual materials on the internet. MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)by Armycat296 May 31, 2019 These fellows go for living a pure life of manhood, eschewing women. (There is also WGTOW, which applies to women.) This often involves divorcees or lonely men who declare umbrage at their ex-wives and rejections, after being triggered. Some belong to incel coteries and encourage violence against women. Red Pilledby Dr_Scientist_ November 19, 2018 “Red pilled” is the indoctrination process via marginalized ‘men’s-rights’ and ‘incel’ groups on the internet, who preach that men are entitled, but precluded, to success with women because of feminism. “Red pill” is a cultural meme representing the selection of either the reality principle, with life’s learned hard knocks, yearned independence and in-your-face veracity; or, its other, the “blue pill,” representing the pleasure principle (Auchincloss & Samberg, 2012), via a felicitous and safe, yet unrealistic, life, indifferent to pain. These pharmaceutical metaphors derive from the 1999 movie, The Matrix. Simp ((S)uckas – (I)dolizing – (M)ediocre – (P)ussy)by DJ METAF4 May 18, 2015 Somebody who offers exorbitant attention to a woman who is socially and physically below his station. She is cognizant of her lower status and exploits him. True Forced Loneliness (TFL)by Uncool dude December 16, 2018 The majority of TFLers think the world is unfair and no one else is culpable for his or her unattractiveness and failures. Misconceptions about them are that they loathe women, feel they are entitled to their affection, or shouldn’t be rejected. Positive Way Out According to Keller (2016), there are six male personality types (regardless of any clinical endorsement); two of which coaches incessantly discuss, below: Alpha male – attractive, charming, successful, envied and popular; a leader and cynosure; gregarious, independent, confident, and most accepted by women. Quintessentially masculine.

Beta male – sensitive, self-effacing, dependable, easy-going; diffident about appearance and himself; sociable although not garrulous; not as successful, but faithful; more realistic than alpha and easier to bond with; not popular and least accepted by women. Less masculine. Some, like Reichl (2018), say betas don’t know how to first approach, and act around, women. He explains that this might be ( in some instances, if not for a dearth of social skills) because “Feminism… decreases…polarity through androgynization…blending…masculine and feminine qualities in…people. While women…develop masculine traits by entering competitive environments like business and politics, men are told to be sensitive, show emotions, and embrace their ‘feminine side’. This produces emasculated men with mediocre feminine qualities and defeminized women with mediocre masculine qualities.” Finally To solve dating dilemmas, Locario (2018) presents seven traits which men must possess: 1 – “Core confidence”—sans accomplishments–irrespective of attachments with women;2 – Impeccable dressing, grooming, and fitness;3 – Impact on women’s emotions, making her feel good through flirting and dominance;4 – Control of his emotions, putting aside her reactions;5 – Skills reading females, i.e., knowing how she’s responding to him;6 – Appreciation (if he’s not monogamous) that he’s sharing women, so he doesn’t become clingy;7 – Ongoing study of the game; and socializing. Remember: Good alpha “game” is comportment plus methodology in social scenarios. References Auchincloss, Elizabeth L. & Samberg, Eslee. (Eds.). (2012). Psychoanalytic Terms and Concepts. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. Gardner, Howard. (1993, 2006). Multiple Intelligences.

New York, NY: Basic Books. Keller, Christine. (2016, September). Herway. Life – “Alpha Vs Beta Vs Gamma Vs Omega Vs Delta Vs Sigma Personaity – Which Type Are You?” Locario Fan. (2016, October 23). “What Does It Mean to ‘Have Game’.” ( Locario Fan. (2018, July 9). “7 Traits That Men Who Are Experts at Attracting Women Master.” Peckham, Erin. (2015-2019). The Urban Dictionary Reichl, Dominic. (2018, January 7). “( On the Ethics of Gender Equality) Is Feminism Good or Bad?” from mindcoolness by Dom. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Chirko on dating, psychology of dating, psychology of game Besides smelling good and having a pulse—all men can attract women. Have you ever wondered how certain guys who aren’t particularly good-looking or rich can get gorgeous women and often? Of course, if you happen to look like Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt, I’m sure you do not have an issue getting women…right? Wrong. Many guys are above average looking that don’t have every woman lining up to date them. How is that possible you ask?!!! Women are more attracted to confidence (personality) and status (money) then they are looks.

They are emotional creatures, and the need to have someone give them emotional stability & financial stability is their priority – not looks (or even sex). Difficult to believe? I thought so too…but it’s true. Most human behavior comes from past learned behavior. Remember, not many years ago women were solely dependent on men to provide for them financially – this requirement for women to look for stability is still present. I won’t discuss methods to increase your financial net worth (lol), but I will discuss how “increasing” your confidence will attract plenty of hot women. They want to feel emotionally connected and respected by you…they also want a challenge ( someone who isn’t a push-over). Confident men respect themselves and, therefore, are usually not push-overs. Confidence symbolizes that you can protect and provide for women. It psychologically tells women that you have something to be confident about whether its: physically, mentally or financially ( not many people are convinced without reason). Ideally, it would be all of the three! There is no substitute for confidence when attracting women. Confident energy is sexual and intoxicating to women.

With confidence, you will attract women like magnets regardless of how you look! Remember women are emotional creatures us men are physical creatures. Have you ever been around someone and just felt comfortable with them? Or have ya been around someone and felt uncomfortable? What you were feeling is referred to as a vibe or energy that people subconsciously give off at all times. For instance, when you speak with women confidence is something that you can’t fake. You either have it, or you don’t, and that energy is sent out. There are many ways that you can increase your confidence.


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